no, we haven't become hippies

by Kristin

We've gotten various reactions when we mention things like seeing my midwife, natural birth, and even cloth diapers.  Some people praise us for being anti-institutionalists (we're not).  Others assume that living in California has turned us into hippies (it hasn't).  A few think this makes us better Christians (not sure how that works).  Some just think we're plain crazy.

While many people do understand and respect why we've made the choices we have, there has been enough confusion that we thought maybe it would be helpful if we explained them.  After all, I used to think that the idea of seeing a midwife was really strange, too.  I get it. :)

Why we chose a midwife...
I guess it would be helpful to explain exactly what a midwife is.  First, a midwife is not a doula.  Doulas are basically labor coaches (no medical training required).  When you really get down it, Nathan is my doula (although he prefers the term "coach").

Historically, midwives were older women in the community who would assist other women during birth.  Back before doctors had any formal training or understanding of obstetrics or gynecology, a midwife was the person you wanted by your side because they had so much experience with labor (and they'd generally been through it themselves).  Today, a nurse-midwife is a highly educated professional whose primary medical training and experience focuses on pregnancy and labor.   Rather than seeing pregnancy as a "condition," they see it as a normal process of life and offer a variety of options for labor and birth while minimizing unnecessary interventions. According to studies, women who choose nurse-midwives have lower rates of pre-term delivery, low birth weight infants, infant mortality, and cesarean sections than the national average.  My midwife isn't just some woman off the street - she has a bachelors in nursing, a master's degree, and is a board-certified midwife who has worked exclusively in labor and delivery since 1995 (she's also had 4 kids herself!).

When we first found out I was pregnant, I went to an OB/GYN like most women do.  She was nice enough, but it quickly became apparent that we had very different ideas concerning pregnancy.  As long as there are no complications, I consider pregnancy (and all of its unpleasant side effects) a normal part of life.  For example, morning sickness is normal - I don't need a prescription med for it (especially considering that these medications haven't been proven safe for unborn fetuses).  My OB/GYN, however, was bound by hospital protocol and was pretty much looking for something to be wrong.  She was rather shocked that I didn't want genetic testing and was even more appalled that I turned down the 7-week ultrasound.

While both of these things are common procedures in today's pregnancies, Nathan and I both agreed early on that they weren't necessary.  Every medical procedure has risks, even ultrasounds (although they've never been proven unsafe, they haven't really been proven safe, either).  When it comes to medical procedures, therefore, we have to weigh the risks to see if they are worth it.  In many cases they are.  For example, if you are having digestive issues, it's worth the risk of a colonoscopy to make sure that you don't have colon cancer.  In pregnancy, though, we didn't think these early tests worth it.  Even if a genetic test showed our baby to have a problem, we wouldn't terminate the pregnancy...so we didn't need the test.  And the only purpose of the 7-week ultrasound would be to determine that I was pregnant in the first place (which was pretty obvious based on my personal records, morning sickness, etc., etc.).  Unfortunately, the OB/GYN wasn't interested at all in seeing my fertility charts or even testing my blood hormone levels - she flat out refused to confirm my pregnancy without an ultrasound.  I found this to be really strange.

So...I switched to a midwife!  I still get all of the same care - the same blood work, the same weekly appointments, etc.  I get encouragement to eat healthy, exercise, etc.  But, the difference is that my pregnancy has been treated as the normal pregnancy that it is.  We were offered the choice on whether we wanted the 20-week ultrasound (we did), and my midwife has helped me to find natural ways to combat nausea and other discomforts rather than immediately resorting to prescription medication.  The midwife I'm seeing in Texas cares more about eating nutritionally than only gaining a certain number of pounds because she recognizes that all women are different - she's monitoring my weight gain but not freaking out over it.  I won't be pressured to be induced by a certain date, and I can choose to labor and birth in whatever positions are most comfortable for me.  I like that.

I also like the fact that I get to see the same person for prenatal care from start to finish.  If I have a question, I call my midwife and talk to her, day or night.  When I go into labor, guess who is going to deliver my baby?  That's right...my midwife!  Not whichever doctor happens to be on call.

The common objection I hear from people is "what if something goes wrong???"  The answer is easy.  If something starts going wacko, my midwife won't hesitate to send me to a specialist.  If things go terribly wrong in labor, she won't hesitate to send me straight to the OR for an emergency cesarean.  I'm still having my baby in a hospital where there are doctors, anesthesiologists, operating rooms, and all of the latest equipment.  Seeing a midwife doesn't put me in danger at all.  In fact, after hearing stories from other people, I'm convinced that I'm probably in less danger of having a bad birth experience because my midwife is committed to avoiding unnecessary interventions (and these are what often lead to the overwhelming number of cesarean births in the first place).

Speaking of birth...
We want a natural birth.  I understand why this seems crazy to lots of people - having a baby hurts, and if there are drugs available, then why not take them?  We aren't naive about this or entering this decision lightly.  We also know that I'm not going to be handed a prize for having a baby without drugs.  At the end of the day, though, it's not about me and my comfort.  It's about the baby.  And, after looking into it, we're convinced that it's better for the baby if I avoid drugs during labor.  After all, if I'm going to avoid them throughout the whole pregnancy, why should I do any different while giving birth?

Yes, we get that labor will probably hurt...a lot.  I've told Nathan to just tell me to "suck it up" when I start complaining. :)  But, from what I've heard from my friends who've had epidurals, labor still hurt for them, too.  And many of them have complained about side effects from the epidurals or slow recovery times.  Meanwhile, the stories that I've heard from women who have done it naturally are generally positive - they seem to be able to spring back from birth within a few days, if not a few hours.  They aren't going to run a marathon or anything, but they seem to have felt more in control of their body during birth and after.

We've taken Bradley classes (they have over a 90% success rate for natural birth), we've done the stretches and exercises, and we've practiced relaxation techniques.  And, if for some reason I choose to have (or need) medication in labor, we'll take it and not feel like failures for doing so.  But we're not planning on it, and we really appreciate those who have encouraged us in this decision.  It's not for everyone, and we don't at all look down upon those who didn't go this route (in fact, I have some friends for whom this would be a bad decision, and I respect that).  We do believe it's the best decision for us, though, and we're committed to doing what we can to make it happen.

Now for the fluff...
I am so excited about cloth diapers!!!  I admit, that probably sounds odd.  But, cloth diapers have changed a lot since the days when my mom used them - they are easier to use, easier to launder, and so, so, so cute!  I've done a lot of reading on cloth diapers (I highly recommend the book Changing Diapers, by the way), and I've decided that there's no reason why I shouldn't give them a whirl.  They are way more economical than disposables, and they smell better, too.  Since I will be staying at home with the baby, there shouldn't be a reason why I can't keep up with the laundry (I'd rather do that than take out the trash anyway).  I'm also excited about the fact that cloth-diapered babies tend to have fewer rashes, etc.

I just bought my first "stash" from a local cloth diaper store.  There are lots of great fitted diapers out there that go on just like disposables, but I've heard that it can be hard to properly fit a baby until it's about 4 months old.  So, for now I decided to go with old-school prefolds and covers.  At about $2 each, prefolds are a great investment - if I end up deciding that cloth diapering isn't for me after all, I'll just use them as burp rags!  I got enough that I should only have to do the laundry every 1.5 to 2 days.  The covers are awesome because you don't need that many (I got 6) and they have tons of snaps to allow you to adjust the size as your baby grows.  And did I mention how cute they are??? 

I taught Nathan how to use the diapers by showing him on his stuffed possum. :)  I look forward to actually trying them out on Pebbles in a few weeks, and I'll be sure to tell you how it goes.

To wrap up...
So, as you can see, we haven't become anti-institutionalist hippies.  We're working on being better Christians, and we may very well be crazy, but I don't think the decisions we're making regarding pregnancy, birth, and beyond really have much to do with either.  Instead, we're just doing what we think is best (and most fashionable) for the baby.  I admit that I still get apprehensive, but I'm also optimistic - in the end, things will work out according to God's plan, and I totally trust in that.